None Of Us Are Promised Tomorrow

If someone told you you had 6 months to live, what would you do differently?  Makes you think right?  Would you still get mad?  Would you cry?  Would you go skydiving?  What would you do...or NOT do?  Well what if you were told your loved one only had 6 months...what would you do differently?  Do you tell other people?  Do you get angry?  Do you kiss your love one?  The truth is, when you tell people the words DON'T GIVE UP HOPE always come to light!!  Its ok to continue to watch my loved one suffer and in pain as long as I don't give up hope right?  When you don't tell people, you hold the stress in yourself and everyone asks you what's wrong all the time...truth is, we don't know what we will do until someone shares that information with us.  AND if you are anything like the rest of us you cry, get angry, and the worst part...start shutting your loved one out.  Have I been told Tony has only 6 months?  NO I have not, so please let me make that clear.  Is there a prognosis?  OF COURSE there is.  But I chose to share that with a few select people that WANT to know.  WHY?  Because my children's feelings matter.  WHY ELSE?  Because if you TRULY cared about my Tony, then your butt would've been spending time with him all this time not just when time is getting short.  SHOCKING I say that right? But its true. But we are human, and we have busy lives and we get caught up in our own lives that its easy to forget about our dear friends and what they may be going through.  Does it make you a bad person?  HELL NO!!!  Does it mean I don't love you?  OF COURSE NOT.  But I personally can not keep continuing to want for other people.  Its just too hard.

NONE OF US ARE PROMISED TOMORROW.  So if you are standing in front of someone you love...TELL THEM.  If you want to eat that piece of apple pie, EAT IT.  If you want to go to Figi, GO!!  Stop making excuses and enjoy life and make memories.

Tony and I have decided its time to make memories.  I already have regrets of not enjoying more good times with my brother before he died...I refuse for me and my boys to have the same regrets.  Tony keeps telling me its going to be ok...but I am so scared its not going to be.  While Tony is hooked up to his 5FU pump, he is so active and making me coffee in the morning, etc.  Its when that pump is disconnected...he's so sick :(  He looks so pale during chemo...but he says he feels the best he's felt in a long time...so I guess the chemo is working.

With that said...I'll end on this.  I experienced an amazing opportunity last week when I was asked to speak at the NIH (National Institute of Health) NINR (National Institute of Nursing Research) Caregiver Summit.  For those that don't know, the NIH is the primary agency of the United States government responsible for biomedical and public health research to include the National Cancer Institute and more.  Speaking at their NINR Summit was surreal. I can't even begin to tell you what a dream come true it was.  Being able to share my story and offer some experience, strength, and hope to others in my shoes was remarkable.  I love speaking and helping others.  I was emailed the other day by Cancer Today magazine asking to interview me for an article they are writing in their winter issue.  Talk about blown away.  You see, I love that I can give back, but I HATE that I my husband and kids are enduring this journey which gives me these opportunities. For anyone who'd like to see me speak, you may at NIH NINR Presentation  Our panel begins at 1:03:30, and I am the 2nd speaker at 1:25:00.  I learned so much at this summit and met some great people!! 

Never give up on your dreams, we are NOT promised tomorrow.  If you were told you had 6 months to live, do what you would do NOW!!!