After Tony's cancer went in remission I made him a promise. I promised him that if His cancer ever came back we would make memories and I would make sure his bucket list happened. Let's face it we can do 1 of 2 things when we get diagnosed with a terminal illness. One we can mope and cry and whine and be depressed about it, or two, we can live life. None of us are truly promise tomorrow. So I did what I think any spouse would do in my situation. I got some money together cringing at the thought knowing that 1 day I would have to pay it back but I started making all of Tony's dreams come true.
He always wanted his 3 car garage check
Always wanted an upgraded kitchen check
Always wanted to go on a cruise check
UNC Duke basketball game check
Matching tattoos check
I also promised my boys that I would plan the trip of a lifetime. Making a memory with their daddy and take lots of pictures. So I did. 7 days in the Eastern Caribbean on the largest ship in the world. I booked the trip in Sept and dared anyone to give me a hard time about taking the kids out of school.
When Tony's daddy died I realized how even shorter life was. His death was unexpected, I watched his mom cry and put her head down, not wanting to eat, and all I could think was, is this what it will be like for me?
I told him yesterday that You better add some things to your bucket list because my biggest fear is that February 8th when we go to the basketball game, his list will be complete. But There is so much more life to live and participate in.
I think what hurt me, is that someone accused us of using money from Tonys dad's passing to do all this. It makes me sick that I'm trying to make my husband's dreams come true so he can ENJOY it and people want to hate and accuse. Don't you people get it? Don't you know I would trade ANYTHING to have Tony be cancer free, to not be sick, to not need medications every 5 minutes? I don't want your money people, I want your love and support. I want your friendship. I want you to come visit and spend time with us. You can't catch cancer. Don't judge me, don't assume, ASK.
I am making his dreams come true and trust me when I say, I'm crying through it. You can choose To do 1 of 2 things when you are diagnosed with a terminal illness. We are choosing to live.
My heart breaks for all! It’s sooo not fair! All the trials and tribulations and even triumph during the first time and now, not only are you faced with cancer again, but folks making assumptions and REALLY getting it wrong!! Gotta be folks you don’t call family nor friend because many of us knew you were working on an impromptu list after tony found out he was in remission. You still wanted to go have fun and make lots of memories because y’all spent a lot more time fighting a battle more so than just living. Folks think living minute to minute day by day is done in “the usual way” when having to support a loved one or is that loved one dealing with health concerns..uuuh no! Comfort zones are disrupted. Schedules that took years to perfect is shattered because you have to entrust someone else to do what you’ve done, which would be an organized, well executed way for all involved.. and then those who matter most, your children, would have to get used to someone else doing it.. and so true quality time when lacking..but Christy we know you’ve been putting forth a lot of efforts to give back time.not just for Tony and his children, but for Tony and you and Tony and All who matters to him so this bucket list of things shouldn’t be anyone’s topic of discussion..frankly, it’s pretty disrespectful and rude. And honestly, if y’all did use any money his dad may have given, he’d want y’all to do exactly what you’re doing and much more! I didn’t know Mr Robert well but by what I’ve heard, he really loved his family and I know he’d want Tony to get out and live life and to truly kick cancer’s a$$ like a true soldier would by showing cancer it can’t and won’t keep him down! Personally, I say, if his dad did leave money, while y’all on that trip go get on the beach and order a sex on the beach and you and Tony salute to your daddy for paying for the drink and cheers to the ones talking about you! Y’all live life to the fullest! Don’t need permission from anyone! Definitely keeping all of you in continuous prayers!! Hugs & Aloha!!
ReplyDeleteChristy, You have to be one of the best, biggest hearted ppl i have ever met and i am so so sorry this is happening to you all. I know that all you want is for Tony to be ok and your kids to have their fun daddy back that isn't full of pain every time he moves, Please dont let those ppl get you down that has no clue what you have give up to do everything on your husbands bucket list while he is able to do it. Girl you are also one of the strongest ppl i know, I know you have to be so broken hearted but you never let anyone see it. I love you and wish you all the most happy fun times you can have.
ReplyDeleteThank you both so much!!! I love you dearly and thank you for being there for me and my family!!!
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