End Of The Road

What does it mean when we come to the end of the road?  What does it mean when we hear, "Just take me home."  At what point do we let our loved one rest?  When do we say enough is enough?  My dear friend is coming to the end of her journey.  It hurts.  It makes me sad.  I think about her boys and her husband.  I think about the urinals she collects and has all over her bathroom.  Her smile just lights up a room.  But I know she is so tired.  She is holding on for all of us and at WHAT TIME do we say, I love you and its ok...I'll be ok.  The kids will be ok.  Our first instinct is to call every major cancer institute and book the first flight to the nearest clinical trial location.  We get on the computer and we research the latest drugs...when what we really should be doing is lying next to our loved one and holding them tight.  Then the guilt.  Did I try hard enough?  What if that drug worked?  Will we ever know?  Oh the guilt.  But what most people on the outside DON'T know...is the person we are fighting for, the person we love...when its time, they aren't the same person anymore.  The journey has taken a toll on them.  The words we share aren't whispers of love like it was.  Sometimes in the middle of the night for about 5 seconds you may share it...but now when our heads hit the pillow our eyelids close so we can dream of how it once was and dream of the hope that when you wake up in the morning, maybe it was just all a bad dream.  The truth is, letting your loved one rest may be easier than watching them go through more pain and poking and prodding just to selfishly allow us 1 more month, or 2 more weeks with them on earth.  I say all this with tears pouring down my face because one day, I will be the one making that decision for Tony.  When is enough enough and have we come to the end of the road? There comes a time in our lives where we have to say good bye. Its never when we want to, its when they need to. They get tired, and worn out, but trust me, they are only saying, please remember us how we once were. Remember the good times, remember the laughs, remember the stories, and smiles, for we aren't far away, just a memory. For now it is time for God to wrap his arms around me and bring me home.