Is there such thing in the cancer world as good news? HELL YEAH there is!! Its called good news in LIFE. Because if you are still LIVING in the cancer world, then its a GREAT day. I would just have to start off with...thank GOD 2017 is over. Too many lost, too many deaths, too much pain and sorrow. It was about time that my family get some news that was FANTASTIC!! Not ONLY did Alec (our 21 year old) get offered a full time job with the company he was temping for, we had an AMAZING time on our cruise, we finished closing out Tony's daddy's estate...which by the way, if you are EVER left as the executor of someones will...I feel sorry for you...please dear GOD I begged my parents to NOT leave me responsible LOL its hard work and definitely not easy and a true pain in the butt. Austin has really been amazing and a true rock for me. He REMINDED me that he doesn't focus on dad being sick, he focuses on that he can still DO things with his dad. He is truly mature beyond his years. Alec and Austin started taking their little brothers out and spending time with them. Which is something I had been praying for for a while. They NEED each other. Plus I need ME TIME. My older sister and I had a fantastic conversation today about ME TIME and how she wants me to schedule 30 min of ME TIME a day. I remember telling my older sister 6 years ago that I really needed her now...but the truth is, she and I reconciled at the perfect time in BOTH of our lives...now. Even my oldest son came and joined us for New Year's dinner. Its like everything for once is falling into place. I never thought in 2017 that anything would ever come together or I would ever wake from this nightmare...but you know what, when you stop focusing on negativity, its amazing what positive things are going on that we miss. What defines us is HOW we get up every morning when life continues to beat us down. Its how we set examples of strength and dignity and practicing what you preach. If I say take time to smell the roses, I sure as hell better have some in my yard. If I say spend time with the ones you love because none of us are promised tomorrow, I better be enjoying time with my family. Walk the walk, not talk the talk.
What I truly think is really great? Tony and I are more in love than ever. We aren't fussing at each other or the kids. We take the time to snuggle, we sneak kisses every second we get. We are so happy. Our family is finally coming together again. No shoe will drop, we are really just enjoying it.
Tony's health is going to have ups and downs...and right now its up. His scans are stable, he's finding a balance with his chemo and this crazy thing called life. It feels good to take a deep breath and have time to feel the exhale actually leave my lungs. We both lost a lot of friends and family these past 3 months. Not only did Debbie pass, but that same day, my Uncle Martin gained his wings leaving his esophageal cancer behind. December was a rough month, but Tony and I realized that we need each other more than ever and don't sweat the small stuff cause its all small stuff. I told my boys if they do the right thing, they can't go wrong. Even if its not always accepted, you are the one who has to face yourself in the mirror each morning. I sing loud on the highway and enjoy it...what I'm really trying to say is, even though in the cancer world there are a whole lot of downs, its ok to smile and laugh and have GREAT days. its ok to celebrate the normal milestones that your children achieve and we should ALL live each day as its our last. Tonight I took time and tucked my children into bed, kissed them on the cheek, and tucked the covers under their sweet chins...and I loved every minute of it. I listen to my mother in law when she says it all goes so fast. Life, Love, Marriage. ENJOY IT!!! So with that, I'm going to sign off and go spend time with Tony.
If you have time, I was truly honored to be interviewed by Cancer Today Magazine about care-giving. My hats off to all caregivers!!! Its not easy!! XOXOXO
Here is the link. http://www.cancertodaymag.org/Winter2017/Pages/A-Call-to-Care.aspx
No comments:
Post a Comment