Survivors Need Love Too

Well, be grateful you are alive.  ARE YOU SERIOUS?  Be grateful that you live with pain, be grateful you have to take medicine that alters your personality, be grateful you can eat at least 1 meal a day without it getting stuck, be grateful that you can make it to 2 out of 10 football games...YES be grateful.  The alternative is death.  The alternative is not being there for your children, because trust me there are children that would love to have their parents be at 1 of those 10 games. 




There is a secret, would you like to know?  If you are a survivor, you need love too.  You will get a cold and its not the cancer.  If you get the stomach flu, you'd like to be seen by a normal doctor not 50 specialists.  Woman still need pap smears, men still need prostate exams...why create a cure doc if you aren't going to bring the survivors back to reality?  My throat hurts doc, well you need to call your oncologist, surgeon, GI doc, and Urologist.  Ummmm my throat...not my $*@&.  Who are you kidding here?  Don't tell me I'm a miracle, I'm a survivor.  I'm a fighter, a warrior that fought the hardest battle like any solider or marine.  I get PTSD too...you know the smell of the chemo floor?  Yeah that triggers a memory.  Every time I undress and I see the scars and holes in my body, I get a flashback.  Please don't ask me to tell you about the side effects of chemo any more, I may just vomit on your floor, and PLEASE don't ask me to take another narcotic because the ones you gave me cause me to barley get out of bed.  I need you wife to tell me you still love me, I need you friend to come visit me, and I need you doc to tell me I WON the fight.  Don't come see me only when I'm in the hospital.  Come see me when im in my dark room, crying in depression because I can't provide for my family as I did before.  Don't only call me when my wife posts on fb that she's having a hard time with me and reaches out for help.  Come make me get out of bed, lets go play golf.  Don't be surprised when you see me, give me a hug.  Let me give you advise, my brain isn't broken, please know I'm still the man I was deep down inside, I just need you to help me find him again.


I don't want to be judged or fixed, I want to be loved.  I want the parade for I have RETURNED from the battle of a lifetime.  I want my life as it was before just like my family does.  I just want to be loved, survivors need love to.